reality tv

my friend li’l pony has helped me tremendously in deepening my understanding of American Culture. i am learning so much from him! last week, for instance, he showed me all sorts of amazing clips from some vh1 shows whose titles i don’t remember but had “charm school” and “fave” or “flavored” and “new york” in them, so maybe you can figure out what i’m talking about even though i don’t remember the exact titles, because li’l pony told me that like 90% of all people in the world know about those shows and i was in the 10% but not any more, and i understood for the first time that americans have a heart. they really do. you thought americans were all about picking wars with other countries and dropping bombs on japanese people and making sure their Children don’t go to the Doctor. not true! americans do amazingly nice things! all the time! like, for instance, on one show i saw thanks to li’l pony a woman gave away her most valued boots to please another woman, and, some time later, when the woman who had given away the boots had already forgotten all about them, the other woman got the boots back for her! and, in another show or maybe the same, we saw a woman spit in very slo mo at another woman and that wasn’t very nice but at the end it turned out nice tho i don’t really remember how. the gob of spit was pretty awesome, too. i don’t think i would be able to produce such a juicy gob, i really don’t, on account that i don’t have enough saliva in me at any given time except maybe if i’m eating candies, which makes me wonder if the spitting woman was eating a candy, not that that matters. anyway, it turned out very nice, with forgiveness and love all around. also, the gob of spit didn’t reach the other woman’s face, only the side of her hair, which is very nice unto itself.

now i’m watching reality tv all the time, for the nice things. lately i watched this amazing reality tv whose name i don’t remember but had “dog” in it so maybe you can figure it out. it’s about a woman who lost her little dog to another woman, but she’s so nice that even though it’s only a little dog she had — check this out — for just one day, she loves him already to death!

this proves to me that the woman is incredibly nice, because i have never loved so much a dog that i had for only one day or even more, like once i had a dog for a week and i loved her but not as much as this nice american woman loves her little dog iggy, which is very much for sure.